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Phones & Relationships

Remember when telephones were almost like the centerpiece of a relationship? Not only for couples, but with family and friends in general. Whenever you had news to share, wanted to hear someone’s voice, or inquire for more information, you would pick up the phone and make a call. If your house phone was off or occupied, you would grab a quarter (or 50 cents in later years) and run to the pay phone praying that someone would physically answer your call. If it went to voicemail, you just lost your quarters to the payphone with no change coming back. To some, this may sound like a nuisance. To others, these are real nostalgic moments that are referred to as “the good ole days”.

This brings me to the topic of Dating/Marriage relationships. I can remember the days of waiting by the phone for that special guy or girl to call. You chat on the phone for hours then go back and forth on who was going to hang up first, and do it all over again the next evening. Over the last decade, it seems that cellphones have not only limited the amount of verbal conversation, it has limited the amount of response. We have gone from calling, to texting, to sending abbreviations, and now to emojis. I thought shorthand was only intended for the courtroom. I admit, if someone sends me a message on my phone that takes me too long to make out what exactly they are trying to say, I most likely will not reply nor strain my brain in attempting to analyze it. I couldn’t imagine dating during these times as it seems like quite the challenge in communication. Picture this…you meet someone and want to keep in touch until the next in-person date. That person only communicates via text and does not “text well”, meaning they give brief replies back or emojis. Sounds like a lot of work and room for misunderstandings. It also does not leave much room to engage and desire to learn more about that other person.

Social media on phones is another dilemma that adds even more strain to relationships. So you already have limited communication. Now on your date, your partner is focusing on their phone taking selfies, texting other people, posting on social media, or watching videos from social media platforms. Is this fun? Seems like a setup for people to be alone in life with their phones and not building relationships outside of followers and subscribers. Will the world soon be completely virtual? I know this past year has been tough on all relationships and hope that it has ignited a passion for people again to crave interaction. I tease my husband all the time as I refer to his phone as his “main piece” and I’m the sidepiece. He often wakes up scrolling and goes to bed playing digital games on his phone. I know that I’m an introvert however I enjoy being talked to and interacted with. I would hope that I am not boring and not being replaced by a device. On the opposite hand, my husband like to call me “Facebook queen” because when he sees me taking a moment to chill out by myself or while eating dinner, I’ll be guilty of scrolling down Facebook.

And last, I wanted to briefly have this topic touch on family and friends. I just wanted to highlight the importance of staying in touch. Life is moving pretty fast and so are those that are around us. You never know how much a phone call means to someone to let them know that you’re thinking of them and haven’t forgotten about them. My grandmothers instilled this in me so I may be old school but it’s key for me. Staying in touch is more than just a holiday text message, group text, or liking a FB post.

We all have “got to do better”. Talk to you later!

~ Yo! Mama

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